Sunday, June 26, 2011

Shoulda looked left and he shoulda looked right

I don't know why my daughter fell for this ruse of mine, because it's the automotive equivalent of "pull my finger".  It started with a seemingly innocent exchange:

"Mama, why are you stopping in the middle of the road?!"

"Well, open your car door and take a look, sweetie."
Dead snake in the middle of the road,
Dead snake in the middle of the road,
Dead snake in the middle of the road
Centerpointe Drive northeast of Lilac Pointe.
A fraction of a second later, the inevitable bellow issued forth as follows:

"MAMA - THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING!  
WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT?!"
Because parents must inflict revenge upon teenagers by occasionally turning the torture tables in ways like this, sweetie!
But seriously, folks, there's a few lessons to be learned here, and the first one is nicely represented by her equally-retortive follow-up question:

"MAMA, WHAT WAS THAT DOING 
IN THE MIDDLE OF A 
SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD?!"

Easy answer: it was here doing what all wild things do - it was chowing down.  Where there is food, there will be something to eat it, every time and in every place - it's that simple.  Particularly in times of drought like we've been having, I expect we have many more of these in our midst.  All our fine citizens have been watering their landscaping diligently, and did you notice that we have a bumper crop of toads this year?  On a moonlight night, they make jogging hazardous.  And for snakes, them's good eatin'.   A veritable bufo buffet.

Those "No Soliciting" signs near the Calder entrance to the neighborhood?  Those signs don't apply to snakes and they sure as heck don't apply to water moccasins in particular (because nothing ever does), which is what I suspect that one was.  He's pretty much been obliterated, but when I see a stout dark snake with a rapidly-thinning tail like that, my money is on moccasin.

Incidentally, one of my very early descriptions of local snakes has inexplicably become one of the most popular posts this blog has ever produced (re-tweets aside).  Apparently there is a dearth of local information regarding Suborder Serpentes and so Google returns that one as a first- or second-page hit, depending on search string.  So you can refer to that post for general info about some of our most common venomous representatives, which are all found in subtropical suburban abundance.

Or if that doesn't float your boat, I can instead leave you with a thematically-inspired video.  Upon seeing that technicolor snake earlier today, it occurred to me that some of you have not had the social benefit of being die-hard Loudon Wainwright III fans for the past 35 years, as I have been.  In order to rectify that, what I'd really prefer to do is supply you with one of his live videos, but there isn't a good one on YouTube.  In place of that, I offer this creative interpretation (loosely defined), which uses the original studio version of his 1973 hit song "Dead Skunk" set to someone's home-made excuse for a video which is so bad that it actually starts to be good!
:-)
  

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